Once again, I'm clueless about this year's Oscar-nominated performances

Oscar Sunday has rolled around yet once again and I find myself in the same boat I’m in every February. I haven’t seen a single film nominated in what seems to be a million different categories honoring every aspect of filmmaking, including acting, directing, costume design, cinematography, lighting and music.

I don’t remember the last time I saw a movie in a theater. I want to say I saw "Witness," but I just honestly can’t say. There are always a bunch of movies I want to see, but I never seem to get around to it. One reason is my known habit of falling asleep just minutes into any movie, regardless of how exciting or loud it may be. I’m sorry, but if you put me in a comfortable, cushy seat and turn the lights off, I’m doing what nature intended — I’m taking a nap.

I choose not to pay for my naps.

I published the following column on Columbia Patch three years ago:

Feeling Like an Oscar Failure Yet Once Again

For about the 20th year in a row, I haven’t seen one single film or performance nominated for an Oscar.

No doubt all the behind-the-scenes action for the Oscars ceremony tonight is at full speed as the presentations of perhaps the world's most coveted entertainment awards approach.

Every year, when the Oscar nominations are announced, and I realize that yet once again I have seen none of the nominated films, I vow that next year will be different.

Next year, I tell myself, I will have seen all five of the films nominated for Best Picture.

And year after year, that never happened, and then it became Mission: Impossible when the Academy of Arts and Sciences decided, in an effort to be more inclusive, to nominate 10 movies for Best Picture instead of five.

It's not that there aren't a bunch of movies I want to see — there certainly are. I don't know why, but I just never get around to seeing any of them.

It could be because I'm known to sleep my way through movies.

There's something about the combination of a comfy, reclining, rocking seat and darkness that just compels me to close my eyes.

And the quality of the picture has nothing to do with me snoozing — no one should take it as an insult if I sleep through the product of their hard work, to say nothing of their financial investment.
I fall asleep when watching movies, and that's all there is to it.

And my basic theory is, I'd rather fall asleep in front of the television than at a movie theater where I paid upwards of $15 to catch a nap.

Anyhow, back to this year's Oscars.

I had good intentions, I really did.

I meant to see "The Help."

Ditto "The Artist," "The Descendants," "Extrememly Loud and Incredibly Close," "Moneyball" and "War Horse."

I also wanted to see a couple of other movies — nominated for awards but not the "big" one — including "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo," "Bridesmaids," "Puss in Boots" and "The Iron Lady."
Eclectic tastes, I know.

But today, on Oscar Sunday, I'm 0-10 in the movies I actually wanted to see and 0-9 in Oscar Best Picture nominations (I guess even the Academy couldn't come up with a 10th film worthy of nomination).

But even feeling like a completely-in-the-dark fan, I still look forward to the Oscars production and pull for my favorites, even though I do so for woefully uninformed reasons.

For example, I'm pulling for George Clooney to win for Best Actor in a Leading Role for his performance in "The Descendants," even though my more informed friends tell me he isn't deserving.

I'm also rooting for Meryl Streep to win for Best Actress in a Leading Role for her portrayal of Margaret Thatcher in "The Iron Lady."

So I have a fresh batch of microwave popcorn at the ready and, should the mood strike me and I feel giddy over the results, I even have a bottle of champagne chilled.

Let the Oscars begin!

Stepping back into 2015, I can only say at least I’m consistent. I again have no informed opinions or predictions about this year's winners, but I do have microwave popcorn and chilled champagne ready.
And like many people who watch the Super Bowl just for the commercials, I like awards shows because of the great hosts who here lately steal the show.

I'm not making any promises about seeing more movies next year — who would I be fooling?

                                               
                                                   Neil Patrick Harris hosts the 2015 Oscar ceremony.
                                                   Photo: Facebook screen grab